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The Positive Side Spring 2003
Volume 6, Issue2
Women's Words: Sally Richard
Sally Richard, 54
Riverview, New Brunswick
Diagnosed with HIV: 1993
CD4 count: 525
Viral load: 86,700
I got HIV in 1982 when I had a blood transfusion, but I wasn’t diagnosed until years later. I didn’t cry when I found out. I went outside, got into my car, lit a cigarette, got a pop somewhere and got lost for a while. When I got home, I told my husband and said he’d have to wear condoms from now on. He refused and turned on me. I left him after my diagnosis because he was an alcoholic and you can only take so much. When I told him I had HIV, he got worse. So I left.
When I was diagnosed, my parents and five siblings turned their cheeks the other way. I needed their help badly. I was living on $450 a month. I didn’t care if I lived or died...until Jack, my spouse, came along. If it hadn’t been for him, I’d be six feet under. I feel hurt by my family because they avoid me. My brother Michael is the only one I see; he comes to play bingo with me.
My mother told me, “Don’t go around telling people.” But I don’t want to keep it a secret. I’ve got nothing to hide or be ashamed about. People have put me down: “Sally Richard, she’s a whore.” I’ve had someone throw a hot cup of tea at me. I’ve been barred from a couple of bingos.
When I go to bingo, my mind is clear. I listen to the numbers called out and I concentrate on that. A couple months in a row, I won $500! I’m not tightfisted. I’ve got a heart. But in some ways, I’ve got a heart of stone because people have hurt me. I’ve been broken-hearted too many times, so I’ve become tough. I’ve been hurt from a child up. You can only take so much in your life. It’s important to stay away from people who upset you because it can lower your T-cell count.
I’ve never come across a woman in my category who got HIV from tainted blood. I wish I could sit down and talk with someone like me. There’s no one here in Moncton. I’d like to talk with someone about how she feels, what she’s gone through and how long it took for her to accept it. What troubles did she go through? Did she have family to help her? At times, I wonder about all this.
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